All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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