hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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