just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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