so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
