There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
