One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
