She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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