How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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