my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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