I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
