Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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