If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
