Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
