Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
