Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
420 ftw
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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