That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
