There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
