i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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