my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
