I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
