I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I skipped work to stalk him.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
