the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
