I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
