just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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