I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
