no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
