I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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