I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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