Non-Jews are for practice
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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