i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
