you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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