honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
