think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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