i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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