i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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