i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
