I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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