sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Houston, we have a blender
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
