I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize