nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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