i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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