why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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