Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
