Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
