found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
