I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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