Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
