Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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