New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I need moral support for this bender
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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