Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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