i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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