sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize