Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
