i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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