i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
