i barfeds in our rink
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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