Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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