Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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