is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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