If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
