i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize