if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
